In our society, it’s no secret that young people often date for personal and relationship growth. However, there are instances where people date for five to 10 years without tangible progress. This is when the woman usually begins to express concern and questions why the relationship is not moving forward.
But then, how long is too long for courtship? At what point does one decide that enough is enough and time is being wasted?
The debate about the timeline for a relationship’s progress is ongoing and I’ll share my thoughts on it.
I believe the problem arises when we enter into relationships without discussing crucial aspects. These include asking each other basic questions such as expectations from both parties.
I mention this because people are in relationships for different reasons. Young men may date someone because they find her physically attractive and enjoy intimacy, while the woman hopes for genuine love and marriage in the end.
We also see young women dating older men for financial reasons. These women may not be attracted to the man or love him, but are interested in his wealth. Such relationships are transactional and thrive only when both partners get what they want.
Then there are relationships that simply drift without direction or meaningful discussions. So, what can one do when they feel a relationship is stagnating?
I believe there are no miracles in relationships. When a partner is serious about marriage, they will express it clearly and their actions will reflect their intentions to move the relationship forward. They will naturally contribute to the relationship’s growth. If progress requires constant pushing from one side, it may indicate a mismatch.
Partners often reveal their intentions at the start of a relationship, such as not being ready for something serious. We may hope they will change, but a growing relationship will progress regardless of circumstances. External factors such as education pursuits may slow down the process, but genuine desire for growth will prevail.
While some marry after dating for a decade, others tie the knot within months. However, some relationships aren’t meant for marriage. If one party is content with the status quo while the other desires more, dissatisfaction becomes evident.
In such cases, the dissatisfied party must accept the situation. Hoping for change from the partner who is not willing to marry you or progress with you is often futile.
To avoid crying; “ananditayila nthawi yanga munthu amene uja”, prompt and honest decisions are crucial to avoid wasting time.
And then……
At this point, we have bragging rights, having won the Misa 2024 Raphael Tenthani Columnist of the Year Award for the third year in a row. We celebrate readers’ contributions, feedback and interactions as part of the success. Thank you so much and let us all keep the fire burning. Happy Sunday!
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