In the latest episode of “Politicians Gone Wild: Malawi Edition”, MCP Central Region chairperson Patrick Chilondola has made a dramatic U-turn on his viral roast of UTM’s firebrand Patricia Kaliati—but only if she stops dragging the President like a broken WiFi cable.
At a rally in Ntchisi North Constituency on Sunday, Chilondola didn’t hold back. He launched into full comedy mode, saying Kaliati—known for her strong words and even stronger presence—applies makeup that’s more terrifying than tantalizing.
“Ali ndi maonekedwe awo, amapaka njerwa zofiira m’masayamu,” he said, leaving the crowd gasping between laughter and confusion.
“Azimayi akapaka zimene zija ndi pomwe timakopeka, koma iwo aja momwe akupakira, tikudziwa kuti uku nkutiopseza.” Translation: makeup is supposed to attract men, not send them into cardiac arrest.
But now, with backlash piling up faster than unpaid campaign promises, Chilondola says he’s ready to take it all back—IF Kaliati tones down her verbal missiles aimed at President Chakwera.
“I am withdrawing on condition that she does not attack the President,” he said, trying to switch from stand-up comedian to peacemaker real quick.
“I cannot defend what I said if the public is condemning it. Let’s focus on issue-based campaign.”
But it might be too little, too late. Political analysts and commentators have slammed his comments harder than a WhatsApp group admin booting drama queens.
Mavuto Bamusi from the Political Science Association called the remarks “uncivilised politics,” warning that such gendered jabs take us ten steps back on the road to equality and issue-based campaigns.
Analyst Ernest Thindwa sighed like a disappointed teacher marking a failed exam: “Politics should be a competition of ideas, not makeup tutorials with attitude.”
Meanwhile, George Chaima described the remarks as “vengeful, not visionary,” and urged political parties to serve voters political substance, not powder puffs and insults.
As for Kaliati? Silence. Radio silence. Whether she’s ignoring the drama or mixing her next batch of njerwa zofiira remains to be seen.
Malawi, a signatory to international protocols like the Beijing Platform for Action, is supposed to promote women’s participation in politics. But with patriarchal pot-shots like this one, many are asking: Is this democracy or just a roast battle in a campaign T-shirt?
So far, voters haven’t seen much of the issue-based politics they were promised. Instead, they’re getting contour critiques, shade-throwing, and mascara meltdowns.
Stay tuned—we might need popcorn for this election season. 🍿💅
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